Human beings were never designed for long-term sexual monogamy. This is why the divorce rate in most American and European cities is well over 60%, and why the infidelity rate in those married couples who never divorce is often as high as 77%20. This is also why married men have lower testosterone levels than unmarried men of the same age. Just the act of a man’s wife having a baby drops his testosterone levels by as much as 30%21.
On the other hand, clinical studies have shown us that if a married man does nothing more than a 20 minute chat with a young, beautiful woman, his testosterone instantly shoots up 14%. Older men, including older married men, who have sex with a new young woman experience boosts in their testosterone levels, resulting in increased sexual desire for their wives, since more testosterone equals a higher overall sex drive. This is even true if the younger woman is dumber, uglier, and/or worse in bed than his wife!
Men in the Western world have been fighting monogamy, and losing, for thousands of years. It’s time to remove yourself from this battle and join the ranks of the Alpha 2.0s out there who can have sex whenever they choose, and without having to hide it or lie about it. This article on monogamy by GQ explains why you should’t follow that path.
A Hidden Benefit to Non-monogamy
The obvious benefit to being nonmonogamous is that you can have sex with other women besides your favorite one. No woman will have absolute control over your body and your sexual actions, maintaining Freedom of Action.
However, there is another benefit that is equally beneficial. It is that not being monogamous actually maintains or even increases the attraction the woman in your life has for you, rather than having her attraction decrease over time, which is a standard characteristic of monogamy. Studies on monogamy have been done that prove this.
When a man submits to a woman’s SP-based relationship rules (monogamy being one of many), saying in effect, “I will do what you want me to do,” even if she’s outwardly happy, her sexual attraction for him decreases, even if just a little. When a man refuses to submit sexually, even if she appears upset, her attraction increases, or at least stays the same.
When a woman clearly sees that she can’t “tame” you, that she can’t completely control you, her attraction for you stays strong, even if she is bothered by your actions. This is where the whole “women are attracted to assholes” concept comes from. Of course the goal of the Alpha 2.0 is to handle these relationships in a harmonious way with a woman so as to avoid drama and unhappiness. Being an “asshole” is the realm of some Alpha 1.0s.
It’s a difficult concept to describe if you’ve never been in a nonmonogamous relationship before, but the first time you try it you’ll see what I mean (provided you do it correctly).
Open Relationships Must Go Both Ways if Something Long-Term is Desired
The third of the Four False Sex Beliefs likely rolling around in your head is that while it might be okay for you to go have sex with other women, the woman in your life must not be allowed to have sex with other men.
If you’re like most men, the thought of the woman in your life getting even a little sexual with another man will send your inner-Grog OBW into a fierce rage of fiery anger. It will also send your SP into all kinds of righteous indignation about “respect” and “honor” and other false SP concoctions.
The sad reality of this, and I’m no more happy about this than you are, is that long-term nonmonogamous relationships cannot last if only you are allowed to sleep with other people. If you’re going to have sex with other women, she must at least have the option of being able to sleep with other men, under whatever rules you both agree to. It simply cannot work any other way, unless all you want in life is a bunch of very short relationships.
Why? Because women in the modern era, even the more submissive ones, are simply not going to stick around long-term not having sex with other guys while you’re out playing with other women all the time. It’s just not going to happen. Remember I said long-term. It is true that in the short-term you could bully a submissive or lovestruck woman into agreeing to a relationship like this. Some Alpha 1.0s do pull this off sometimes. That might work for a while, but it never lasts. Eventually the woman either cheats on you behind your back, or leaves.
If you want a long-term nonmonogamous relationship, you’re going to have to be fair about this. The good news is that often the woman in your life won’t be having sex with other men even though you’ll be having sex with other women. We’ll discuss that in a minute.
Your challenge, then, is your own jealousy. You’re going to have to learn to control it.